The Truth

     There are many kinds of zombies out there, some of which you may have heard of, some of which you may not have. This post is dedicated to helping you learn the truth and the lies about what exactly a zombie is, from the zombies you read about in books to the zombies you see in movies, even real life zombies, and finally the horrific nightmares that are destined to come.

     What an imagination authors have. When it comes to the living dead, this imagination is greatly used. In a book, anything is possible, and I have read about everything as fantastic as walking skeletons, as wicked as vampires, and as insanely brilliant as liches. By far, however, the most variation has been applied to the most basic of the undead; the zombie. For the most part, people seem to not be able to agree on the way zombies work. No one has been able to create an outline for these creatures. This opens up the world to such possibilities as running zombies, talking zombies, and even zombies capable of learning! How absurd indeed! It is important to point out, though, the great work of Max Brooks, the acclaimed author of "World War Z" and the "Zombie Survival Guide", my main inspiration.

     As odd and hilariously misinformed as authors seem to be, movie writers and directors don't seem too different. If you look hard enough, you could find movies about every type of zombie. I've seen movies where the zombies saw themselves as conscious and everyone else as zombies! Things like this may lead to some interesting plot lines and story ideas, but we all need to remember that that's all they are; movies. There is no practical survival information to be had from watching movies where the zombies run, sneak, or hunt for brains. The model zombie movie to this day is still "Night Of The Living Dead" by George A. Romero, the grandfather of the modern zombie. This series is arguably the best to watch for practical survival information.

     Deep in the heart of Africa, we can find witch doctors, still in practice today, working evil magic. What kind of magic, you may ask? Well this magic predates written history, working with death, curses, and working as evil as... raising zombies! Ok, well maybe not raising zombies exactly, but it was very common for people in small villages to go missing for days, months, or even years, only to show up again with no memory or trace of where they had been. While this isn't really a zombie, it is the origin of the word. Witch doctors would kidnap civilians, take them back to their farms, and give them a potion with a few.... toxic ingrediants. When mixed together, these items are not powerful enough to kill a person, but the mixture is just the right strength to knock out a lot of brain function, including memory and some motor skills. The newly "created" zombie would then be tasked with simple labor around the farm, such as planting or picking crops.

     Which brings us to the final aspect of this post; the truth. What is a zombie? How has the media skewed our perception of such zombies? Well let me start by telling you this; zombies are not corpses! That is the first fact that shocks most people. Think of this from a purely scientific standpoint. To be dead, a creature must have no brain activity. Once you lose your brain activity, there's no way to get it back. It has been theorized as far back as Mary Shelley's "Frankenstein" that a body can be brought back to life with electricity. But for that to be the case, it would require every zombie on earth, as many as seven and a half billion, to be struck by lightning. Simply not possible. Along with not being dead, zombies are not rotting. This would simply be a bad evelutionary move for the virus. All it would take for us to survive, in this case, is to stay underground for five years and let the zombies die on their own. The zombie virus (from here on out in my blog called the Z-Virus) wants a host, so why would it let its host die? The last surprising fact for most people about the real zombies, is that they don't need oxagyn. That's right, the little plan you had to go hide on an island, knowing they can't swim? Forget that! They can simply walk up to the island via the ocean floor! There is nowhere you are safe, and other reasons why will be explained in a later post about the functionality of the walking nightmares.

The Truths

1) Zombies are not dead

2) Zombies do not rot

3) Zombies do not breath

4) Zombies have no conscious thought or memories

5) Zombies do not have the coordination for complex movements, such as running

Rule #2

Know Your Enemy